I understand feeling some type of discomfort when you first realize you are autistic. For many of us, that’s because we’ve seen judgmental, ableist, and downright inaccurate representations or information about what autism is. Many people, including most doctors, still focus on autism in terms of deficits- or what autistic people are “bad at”. The important things to know are that (1) a lot of things people say about autism aren’t true! And (2) many of the so-called “deficits” are just differences, and many of them can actually be strengths! My suggestion would be to find the autistic community in whatever way feels best to you- Instagram, Facebook groups, TikTok, local groups, or autistic coaches or therapists.
Having autistic support while navigating this new information about yourself can help you avoid adding negative self-judgments in your discovery process. There are indeed some traits associated with being autistic that can make life more difficult- but there are many more autistic traits that only make life difficult because of how they are judged or treated by others.
The people and situations we interact with become our subconscious standard of normalcy. It’s important to interact with, follow, watch, and read about other auties so you stop seeing neurotypical/allistic behavior as the standard for success!